Moja druga poroka

Včeraj sem bila na poroki – svoji poroki. In to že drugič!

Pravzaprav to ni bila poroka. Bila je registracija istospolne partnerske skupnosti z mojo partnerko, ampak jaz to raje poimenujem kot »poroka« in »žena«.

To je bila že najina druga registracija, ker sva dveh različnih državljanstev in ne živiva v nobeni od najinih domačih držav. Zakonodaje po različnih evropskih državah na žalost niso usklajene in med sabo ne priznavajo registracij istospolnih partnerjev. Zato sva se raje dvakrat poročili. To nama tudi da priložnost, da praznujeva z večimi ljudmi. Prvič sva se poročili v Nemčiji, zdaj pa sva se v Velenju.

Priznati moram, da se kljub temu, da sem z ženo že dolgo časa, še vedno nisem naučila slovenščine. Ženini starši se vedno potrudijo, da z mano govorijo ali nemško ali angleško, zato nikoli nisem občutila potrebe, da se nujno naučim jezika. Večino časa mešanica jezikov vseeno  povzroči stres in vedno znova si obljubim, da se bom kmalu naučila slovenščine. No, to je bolj obstranska tema, danes pišem o nečem drugem.

Nazaj na poroko v Velenju. Med pripravami na poroko je žena veliko komunicirala z Upravno Enoto, najino slovensko odvetnico, ki nama pomaga pri legalizaciji najine registracije v Sloveniji, in slovenskimi ministrstvi. Razlog za to ni le, da ne znam slovensko, sem tudi bolj lene sorte, kar se tiče formalnih obveznosti! Torej včeraj sva imeli datum določen za obred. Gostji sta se usedli v avto z nama, prevajalka je bila naročena, in matičarka naju je pričakovala.

Dva uslužbenca Upravne enote, k sta bila prisotna na obredu, sta izgledala še bolj nervozno od naju. V pripravljalnem sestanku pred nekaj dnevi naju je matičarka že vprašala, kakšen obred želiva. Všeč mi je bilo, da so bili pripravljeni vse običajne dele poročne ceremonije tudi v najin obred. No, midve sva se odločili za enostavni obred, s kratko izmenjavo prstanov – glede na to, da sem med najino prvo poroko naredila napako pri natikanju prstana, sem upala, da bom tokrat opravila bolje.

Menda sva bili prvi par, ki ga je matičarka registrirala, zato je bila malce nervozna – to je pomagalo tudi meni, da sem se pomirila. Kar zagledala sem se vanjo ali v prevajalko in razmišljala, le sta matičarka in prevajalka dober miks.

Prevajalka je bila zelo seznanjena s pravicami homoseksualcev v Sloveniji in je želela iskreno pokazat svojo podporo nama in najinemu obredu. V dogajanje je prinesla neko živahnost, kar je pomagalo ali zmedlo matičarko – nisem čisto sigurna!

Na splošno moram povedati, da je bila atmosfera v Upravni Enoti in odnos matičarke zelo odprt in prijateljski. Med obredom sem imela občutek, da so vsi želeli ceremonijo napraviti še posebno lepo za naju, še posebno zato, ker sva lezbični par. Pokazali so dodatno podporo, na zelo prijateljski način, ne pretiran in zelo prijeten.

Na kratko vse skupaj povzamem z mislijo, da bi se v Sloveniji še enkrat poročila in naslednjič “Ja” izgovorila kot “Da”.

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My second wedding

Yesterday, I attended a wedding- my wedding, my second one!

Well actually, it was not a wedding. It was the registration of my partnership with my partner; I prefer to call it “wedding” and “wife”.

It was our second registration because we have two nationalities and we live in neither of our home countries. The unharmonious regulations within the EU don’t recognize each other’s laws on homosexual partnerships, so we preferred to get married twice. This gives us the opportunity to celebrate with more people. The first time, we got married in Germany, now we went to Velenje, Slovenia.

I have to admit that despite the fact that I’m together with my wife for a long time and have also met her family several times, I have not managed yet to learn the Slovenian language. My wife’s parents and family always make the effort to speak to me either in German or English and so I’ve never felt the urgent need to learn the language right away. Most of the time, this causes a lot of stress to everyone while communicating and leaves me with the promise to learn it soon. This is just shortly mentioned, it is not really the topic of my column.

Back to the wedding in Velenje. In the run-up of all the preparation, my wife mainly communicated with the civil registry office, the Slovenian lawyer who helped us a lot in the legalization of our partnerships in Slovenia and the Slovenian ministry. Not only because I don’t speak Slovenian but I also tend to be more lazy! So, yesterday, our date was set. The guests were packed into the car with us, the interpreter was invited and the civil registration office was expecting us.

Two people of the registry office attended the ceremony and both seemed to be as nervous as we were, if not even more. We had been asked in our first meeting what we would have liked to include into the ceremony and I really liked the fact that they were open to all elements of civil registration. Anyhow, we decided to do a simple registration with a short intermezzo of ring exchange – especially after I messed up the ring exchange at our first wedding, I wanted to improve my gesture in this one.

Apparently, we were the first ceremony ever for the official, so she was very nervous which helped me to keep down my nervousness – I just kept staring at her or the translator wondering if this is a good or a bad mix.

The interpreter was very knowledgeable about the rights of homosexuals in Slovenia and was also very keen to show it and support us in our wedding ceremony. She brought a kind of liveliness into the ceremony which helped or distracted our official- I’m not sure!

Generally, I have to say that the atmosphere and the attitude of the registry office is very open and friendly. During the ceremony, one had the feeling that they would like to top their friendliness because we are a gay couple by showing the extra support but it went not annoyingly overboard and kept always the healthy balance.

As a resume, I would get married in Slovenia again any time, perhaps next time I can  say “Da”.